Monday, November 25, 2013

It's been a while but all this time I have been working on a panel that I have been working on for the last 8 months. I have spent on average 2 hours a day on this piece. Sometimes I think I should just toss it and start another panel but for some reason I just hang on and keep painting on it. It has a sister piece that I have work on for 7 month but I think that work is finished. It's a wall street portrait, it feels like the last( who knows?).

About 3 weeks ago I finally gave up coding to go back to art. Coding really wasn't that hard for me to give it up since it never worked for me. I spent 5 years working really hard trying to find a job coding and then spent the last 2 years trying to stop painting and art so I could learn JavaScript. I must have done a pretty good job at not painting because now...nothing comes to me and there is no flow to the process. I actually think this might be a good thing but man I am lost! I can't seem to concentrate on one thing and I think my brain is trying to put this new perspective together. I loved painting the wall street portraits but I am not feeling that anger and frustration anymore. The constructivist landscapes I have been drawing seem to be working but only in drawings and the geometric abstract paintings seem like a cop out.

What if I painted myself out? Like I don't have anything left to say? It doesn't feel that way. I feel like I have something to say that is extremely important but I don't know what it is or what it looks like with out an art historical reference.

I have been gone back to listening to the Cyberpunk and Industrial music. I have always found inspiration in music and noise/sound. I am trying not to look a art history I based a lot if not all my older work on art historical movements or individual artists. It's not a bad thing but I feel that maybe I just amalgamating styles that I liked instead of really finding out what I was saying.
I thought about working in a Cyberpunk style of art but the new movement is based in Manga and any ideas I have for the style are too literal and predictive.

I guess at this point I need to just keep working finding a path or maybe right now I am really painting like Don DeLeva and I am trying to put a name on what it is I am doing out of habit ( old habits die hard!) Maybe that is what it is I am still comparing myself to everything and everyone else...